Close to 3am now &yeah I'm prolly th only one awake in th house.
I feel like writing because that's th only thing that could calm me down.
Maybe having a morning stroll too, but its way too dangerous.
True enough, I'm distracted but I dunno why or how. You're not true, that one I do know.
I suspect my motives, don't you? My desires might be impure. All these feelings, all these vengeance, all these catharsis, all these search for a new flame is just more than what i think it is.
I maybe making use of this state, never realizing my intentions, but hell who cares!
What's more to? Everything's so confusing these days it feels like there's a huge snowball rolling down a hill behind me, getting bigger and bigger, &rolling faster and faster, &sometimes I'm in th front trying to outrun it and sometimes I'm at th back trying to catch up with it before it flattens someone else. Life is crazy, sometimes you care so much, sometimes you're aware you're being damn wicked, sometimes you're still praying for hopefuls even when you know things couldn't fit in sweetly to your own liking, to th dream you've been smiling about all these days your memory starts working. &I soon get to realize that these emotion that's overpowering is just a cover up. True enough (according to Afiq), I want to be in love just to experience it. Many said they would love to see me in love. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. &Guess what Nurul came up with, she said she thinks guys are scared of me. haha, damn funny.
"How would you know? You're not a guy"
"My suspected instincts should be true"
"Yeahyeah, cause why?- I'm a leading woman who is emotionally strong right? I know they're afraid of confident ones"
"Yeah right."
"True what"
"Not in your case eh"
(Meant to be a light-hearted glib okay,)
Anyway, yeah so I was abit distracted and I decided to ask around.
They say that ain't true at all. But I didn't ask th guys at school ofcourse, sungguh tak perlu.
Haha, yeah they say I'm entertaining to talk to, not that I'm scary though, but I like to try one day how to(be scary i mean). Lol.
I should feel free. Cause that those guys suck big time. Sometimes when I travel on th bus, I always wonder to th couples passing by, like how &why girls could surrender easily to guys crap, like why don't they understand that love is never meant to last, that this thing they're giving in to is an unreliable issue,that one day they have to hold their own broken heart in their hands? Guys' love declarations are meant to be a joke. They are so untrustworthy. Soon, to create emotional debris and excessive hurt &upsets and remorse that couldn't change any single possibility.
GIVE IT UP MAN!

Labels: Hook me up.