"You think its more liberating to die young?"

stars dont help either ▲▲

All my sleeves are stained red

▲▲

The coffee's never strong enough,

secrets ▲▲

3 days ago, I realised I dont want to be me anymore.

not strong enough ▲▲

Life has started to show its offerings, but in return, it is devouring my soul like a serpent showing up in my dreams to make me realize unnoticeable beauty.

▲▲

Bipolar disorder.

BALONEY ▲▲

wow, fucking drama turns out to be a miraculous laughing gas.

▲▲

Days like this are when coffee and smoke are not strong enough.

a world of upset ▲▲

I was on the verge of declaring this one of my better weeks, when days felt like my peeling skin revealing my true demeanor and nights were sufficed with irregular notion of disdain & glee. I welcome th balance from the depth of my innocence and my learned ability to appreciate because I know melancholy brings me nowhere I want to stay; except the darkest corners of being wise, but unhappy. I dont know how I managed to disguise my stories and resort to being secretive even to ones I love most, except two or three.

inspired. ▲▲

DEAR WOODY,

▲▲

No man's manly enough if they're not a man of their words.

waking up alone ▲▲

We could always turn the other cheek or act on impulses that turned into habitual regrets. But behaving under momentary influence to impress or to seek for immediate attention craving was smth you're always capable of doing under any circumstances. It became predictable. You are a one-trick pony, seeking refuge under misguided sugared words of people that you got blurred along the way into smth unreliable and indefinite, because you wanted to be a person they want to use, you want popularity and crowds of admirers. You used to be a pale shade of mirror, one that i could find a reflection of myself regardless of any haze or doings. Your substance turned cold; balled into a solid ensemble of strangers. I could try igniting back this extinct feeling, but how impossible it is, I still am so much better than you are cause atleast I believed. You said you'll be one of the few things that I am able to own. But you're one of the reasons I've started to realized that we only belong to ourselves and am complete like that. People say that uncertainty is a thrill that will turn out eventful, but mind you, you are the fucked up person who made uncertainty feel bitter and unpromising. Its painful ok; its painful to wait, to endure with resilience of no reward and to want things boundless to your soul.

repel ▲▲

Just a piece of advice, which will definitely save you fellas out there who claimed to loved &be loved. Only trust you're in love when you're 21 &aging. Cause there, life produces more reasonable fuckers who appears to WANT to be in a relationship &refuses to experiment any longer. Saves th effort, saves th hurt. I cant rly keep up w ppl who doesnt stop chanting they're in love when they're 17,18 19? What they gonna get married already? And have a baby? Then what?

another stick ▲▲

Believing is dangerous; they make you vulnerable to wounds. Not believing seems to be diminishing your chances of living, by aging you before your time. Just so you know, wounds can heal, our lifelines dont multiply.

flying ▲▲

I can't explain th time I walked away, when th traffic stopped, when my eyes start seeing colors other than black &white, when there's a song in my soul, &when I believed in th miracles of two human beings. How can a mere presence develop into something like what they call it? Magic? What is this feeling called? When you suddenly stumbled with your words while elbowing th person within your reach, pleading them to pinch you? What is this feeling called when th world you had lost faith in suddenly crack some goddamn holy fireworks that not even hongkong can be able to defeat? So tell me this agony of having every single veins in your body numbed upon seeing his eyes, then 2 minutes later, your whole body weakens for his sight again. Have you ever felt this way before?

▲▲

i want you.

Look forward. ▲▲

You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.

sober ▲▲

You think you mean a lot to me, but you dont.

▲▲

& for th first time ever, my dad screamed to my face that i should accept life and its realism.

bluff paradise ▲▲

After a whole 2 months of sheer silence &high-horses, while I was looking down at my feet when everyone else stared at colorful, speedy lights w prayers that this yr would end up just like those fireworks, I received a text. Said, "I love you. Happy New Yr." Instead of a smile, he drowns me in more gloom. I still dont expect anth. Ppl think they can get away w things by sending one sweet sentence, &if possibly a lie to just save their ass.