And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Now I could only hear stories about you. But I want all your own tales, from your own mouth. Mum's okay, but sh's busy &I'm busy too. But you would find any time and ask me about school &life. &In this fastlane, all of us need to keep up with th uptight schedule, even as a student, &th only person who could make me slow back down is you. After all these 2yrs, I'd tell myself I'd get on with it. But it's been just as bad without you around. My world tumbles &rarely it jumps back up. &I thought I could make it through, that I'd get over you, but my insistence on being strong is because you would never be here again. You didn't treat me like a girl, you respect me as a woman; you said I should make my mistakes to learn from it, but I wonder why I could be stronger when I was with you then being weak and frail now. I don't get it why life needs to be so tough, especially now, when everybody around me has their resistance down.

You haven't seen me now. Mum said I have a huge temper &attitude I need to wash away. Sh says I'm stubborn &frustrating. Sh said to me in a nice tone, though. But don't get me wrong, I love her but th least I need in th world right now is serenity &support. All my brain power gave up on me and my mental health is on its verge. I turned 16 &everyone was nice about it; that I had grown up to be a respected, sophisticated young lady. But is that crap or is that a modal answer? Or was that cheap? On my birthdays, you would tell me what I need to improve abt myself to be a powerful woman; like stop being lazy & "try to kejar th pahala" or show more sensitivity to others(young or old) or that I have to open my horizons and not limit my opinions, or "I know you love alot of ppl but try show it more" or bite your tongue when you want to rebel. Now, all they could tell me is, count to ten when you're red hot & EAT MORE! I said, "thanks alot. I'll keep that in mind." But whatever you said to me is everytime playing in my mind but you must wonder why is my characters contradicting my thoughts? Because they kept me so uptight sometimes I can't think no more.

I'll be more mature, I hope. &Not get into rash decisions.You're alot of help. I just wish you're still here. To make me be myself back again. ILy.

Labels: I miss you every day.