As I walk these times, head first, without any disruptive counter parts, but w a clear mind, it's been easier.
Although it means that I have t start anew, it seems that I'm being more appreciated day by day.
I knew I couldn't keep lying to myself any longer; of what I hate &what I want to keep close.
&Finally, after all these while, I start t know.
Most I will choose to lock it up in my big treasure chest, but I'll throw away th rotten one's that's been clouding up my years.
Suddenly I had no idea how I'd managed to convince myself otherwise.
About th people &th memories that I continue to welcome back although they were th devil of my future- like I was a fool, pretending that things would be different, that they will change, instead it only made them consistent in stabbing my spirit &pulling me down.
Only that I didn't die.
It was as if a bright light was shining into all th dark corners of my life that I hadn't want to look before.
I don't think I'm gonna lose anth; not any opportunity or not anybody, cause I mean exactly nth t th ones I'm leaving behind, nor do they do to me.
I'm not gonna waste my time w any flaky layabouts, that includes you, you bastard, &I will spend my time wisely giving myself some unconditional devotion(if that sounds correct).

Anw, recently things are different.
I used to swear alot right?
Until I was quite close to Shi Min whose 2 yrs older than me, but seems v paticuliar abt anth or anyone vulgar.
I would wish to see her slapping ShanQi when he sweared fuck you to her.
Come on, even he was scared after that.
Th thing is, I think I ran out of my bitchy hysteria, and be abit more dignified cause I'm still a girl after all.
&My patience have been built, like a tough wall, made of marble, not resently ending anymore (I hope anw).
But my body's been a weakling, I wake up v early everyday but th rest of th day you'll find me lazing ard, which is def no good.
Anw, Starting tmr, I'll plan out th things I wanna do, as I'll make it a week's exception of work hunting.
:DDD

Labels: I feel good.