This is gonna be a depressing post accompanied w very contrary peeektures because updates &photos make jiexin very happy :D

1.
Lets expose the freaking miserable one first okay.
Yesterday horr I got presentation for F writoral. The night before, I polished my speech &powerpoint slides like eff, know but everyone was worried about what to wear instead -.-
Wahh in the morning I feel so out of place! I stepped into the classroom &everyone asked me whether I'm presenting today because I dont look formal (!!!!) Its really not that; its just that they put in million dire effort than me; Fiona looked like a casino dealer (whatever they call it), Sheryl looked like she got her own business, Jovy looked like a successful mum, Elias looked like a property agent who has a car (-.-), Nabila looked like a lecturer (hahhah, cause sh was mistaken for one), &they dont want to label me because I looked too fashionable (!!!!) What kind of reasoning is that?
Okok that was not the point! I was touching on poverty for my presentation &received very very good remarks from the tutor &from everyone else. They said I have set th standard but I was reading too much from my cards :( But still I was expecting a high grade; I didnt know that kind of fucking reading could make me undeserving of an A!! Bloody B, I got. She even wrote that I made a special impact on th audience; giving them eye-openers &herself too but in th end, sh fuckingly rewarded me w a B!!Wahh damn pissed. I went to th tutor &sh said,
"Nafisaaaahh you shouldn't have dig your face into your scripts so much ytd!"
"&That was why I didn't get an A?!"
"Yes, I couldn't have given you an A for your lack of eye contact!"
BASKEEEETTT! Make me damn low lor!!! Everyone was shocked I got a B :(
Sigh.

Nevermind, pictures.


























2.
But I met Nadiah for lunch :D She kinda make me desert th topic for awhile!
&How happy I am to discover that there's TOMYUM in Flavours(!!!) ^^
*sings; I feel so good ah ah!
We talked about alot of things in an hour only! What a goooood bonding time!
So its time to sing agaaiinnn!
*I feeel......okay lah; not so good now.
Anw, yeah met Amalina after that to buy Ummu's present! (:
Shit but never take any single pics w Nad :( Dammit.




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3.
I find my classmates a bunch of damn hardworking people. Altho they drill alot of pressure into me (at times unnecessary ones), I think they're th key driving force of motivation to keep me working. They make me want to be th best (: &I like that. So because of that; because I left a few freaking hours to term tests, I'm gonna make my term 1 worth it! Anw, what a speedy term, agree? I cannot believe my eyes, ears, when they said its june soon! &One thing that never ever did change is that; I LOVE JUNE!!! I already started planning my birthday week altho i know I said I didn't have th mood -.- but cause, I want to go to a thai food paradise &share my love w my friends who dont fancy it that much &still have to tag along because why? Its gonna be my birthday! (: &Fiona's birthday too!

4.
TESTSSSSSSSSSSS!
-Facom
-Rebus
-Maths
-Writoral -.- (bloody hell, i'm starting to despise it, i tell you!)
-&CADS (which is done yaaayy!) but we were deprived of time during th lab test (!!!) because I wasn't sittng beside Elias (-.-) who's th autocads genious! &I didnt have ruler to measure th bloody internal walls!!!

Anw, next week, am gonna go to school for 3 days only since other days I have no papers so yippeee life is back! Gonna party damn hard :D

5.
Everyone around me looked happy in all sorts of good way &again I feel so out of place.
Somedays I tried to smile even though my heart's wrenching but somedays my eyes had the desire to burn than having to put up with another pretence. Sometimes, somebody out of th blue, gets all so sweet &nice to try to turn my frown upside down. But everyone else stood at th sidelines watching because they were afraid to take that risk; to know me, to listen to what's troubling me, to see that I had dark sides too; just like everyone else. I know I had tried to deceive myself that I am different but fact is; we're all th same, our pain, our strengths &everyone had a history to who they balled up to be today. I want to be as nicely treated &cared for; I hate those eyes staring at me every second, thinking they want to know me, asking for my numbers, not knowing who truly I am inside, it's disgusting, its not a respect a girl should get. I couldn't gave them th liberty, th chances because I know too well what I'm exposing myself to. Because I grew more fragile every second; I needed intensive care because I'm bleeding profusely. I couldn't just accept anyone, know. I couldn't. Then when can I? When?!! I'm losing too much.

6.
I'm sick of trying. I want to glide to th aftermath. I want to be a success story of a happy ending. School just taught me that impossible is nothing.

Labels: pacesetters?