I've been resisting th urge to tear up, hoping if I put th thoughts aside, I wouldn't even have t feel any slightest sourness, that things would get better before I burst.
It's not even worth it, I think, considering my commitment, my sincerity &my all.
I ended up saying; study hard!
I meant it badly, but it was th dumbest of me t twist my words ard thinking they'd do th reverse psycho on me. I should've known only I would do that.
To be understood &be heard; it was necessary like water &air.
I wouldn't say I was dying, cause it takes more than tt to make me feel lifeless; I just felt cheated.
It's like skating on thin ice; &on those moments, you have this burning fire in your soul &a kick in your shoes, saying, "this is gonna be worth it".
But imagine when th ice cracks, you fell into th chilly water, &th ones who were skating ard you, ran madly for their lives.
You're left to either feel bloody stupid or bloody good that you had found it earlier on before th worse appalls.
When I was deciding which one to feel (I should receive applause or what!), I realize I didn't even have t try.
A moment later, I felt numb. Few hours later; I tranquilized myself until I can't feel anything.
That feels good. I was good.

~
Ytd was abit very random, but we had Portuguese food.
I didn't imagine someone can make me feel better afterall th drama.
I can't wait to see you again,

P.s; I just WANTED you guys to be there.
Pp.s; I was testing *Failed.