We come forth til this very day by our own personal will to live. Being blessed are they who expect nothing much for they will not be disappointed. That's great, but that's not it. We can go town, get drunk &come back home, a little less conscious but it's still not it. We can surrender ourselves to a relationship we do not believe &pat our backs for trying; but every morning, you still have to ask yourself, "what am i doing?". Long after my gay whistle &my joyful strut faded into th phantom of music &then into silence far up in my head, the people who were there that had witnessed your generosity of gloriousness, have also far long gone. They wanted to know your stories so much with names insured, that you start not feeling important again. These impurity of thoughts find a straight edge to a cliff you've never know existed. It haunts you til you won't be able to sleep &it deprived you of being saved. But as long as you believe , you won't die.