I cannot seem t find a burning desire t do things that I wanted anymore.
I cannot sleep. I cannot find my appetite. I cannot listen t songs.
I cannot scold my brothers. I cannot feed on others happiness like I always did.
I cannot read. I cannot make a decision.

1.
Novels demand some concentration &tell me for what? People &problems that are non-existent; imaginary situations which made you fight over fantasy &reality, wondering whether you're suppose t sow th seeds of ultra-belief or forget it &stab your eyes t see where exactly in hell are you here, on th perfectly round Earth (obviously not among th stars or flying beside angels).
2.
Magazines are trivial &garish. Th grinning models, millionaires &over-successful assholes (who once were not) are just asking for it; they make me wanna pull out every las strand of their hair t baldness, bt th ones alr bald, I'll go over t their body hair or their teeths. All that superbeauty &happiness-how dare they! They think they're nobel &kind &have enough money t have th upper hand; but they're just some stupid similar humans that just dont have enough problems.
3.
There are not alot of happy people around here. Everyone's either serious or scared shitless; which is fine since that way I dont feel like mutilating them. But I neeeeeeeed some good vibe dammit!
4.
CANT PARENTS STOP YAPPING like some very old birds whose not offered anymore choices so they are only able t condemn a very dear little girl's tangled up, shrinked mind? Can't they just understand that my happiness doesnt lie on THEIR happiness! I dont wanna do bussinessssssss!!
5.
My friends have been very great. I'd like t bring them t Spain one day; if I'd finally chosen a course(tt I wanna go), &get a diploma, hopefully continue on w a degree then excel in my field. But I wish they would stop asking. Then I could settle in on a passionate course then I can have a successful career then I can finally fly all of ya'll t Spain! Okok, cut it. As if. I would rather turn t my top scorers (ehem ehem) t treat me t a vacation instead! Dori!! Lum!! YeeHui!!! (coughs).
6.
There's one girl who is skating on thin ice, very thin ice. Th first thing that pissed me off so deeply was how emotionless she was. Stoning, acting as if sh was cool abt it all, just wanting t be there for her friends; give them hugs, encouragements &shedding tears tgth. Pls, it makes me wanna puke. If this is th empire you're dealing with, you should fret cause you have nothing in mind &your future is bleak just like a black hole. You pretend as if every single thing will be under control &little elves will help you settle your future when actually, you're on a marginal last straw hanging on your clueless passion.
7.
Oh wow. That girl's me.
8.
Anw, feel like cutting my hair abit more shorter like
Should I? Or chill awhile until my hair grow abit more longer when it goes unkempt then do it again?

Labels: Dont forget t remember me.