To me, th whole sphere of my adulthood is a mystery, but not that I need some ammunition or requiring any intervention of an interpreter; cause I can so deal it on my own.
I do certainly want to tackle th rocky path to enlightenment, alone or not, cause I'm certainly not a girl who gets anything sh wants without a fight.
Well, even now, I'm fighting.
I obviously want to find th meaning of life, tho I know th meaning of life was created from its beings, but I want to be fed w a different; simple but a different meaning.
I want to know what's out there in store; not just for me but for everyone else, cause th conviction of knowing th meaning of life is how truly unique it all had been settled out for you; that everyone is special &if we catch evth at different angles, it would be wonderful.
Only, just not now.
I couldn't allow myself to contemplate w th alternative of having a pretty good; simple but pretty good life. I mean, come on? How much does it comes to me?
Yes, I want to start life all over again.

Ytd, while I was on th train alone, everything that'd been happening in my life started to crawl out of th corners of my brain, &haunts me too much, that I'd put away my Twilight &decided to upfront an abrupt convo w this lady playing w her toddler.
Well, not that I'd initiated it anw.
Sh was talking about her son at first, then over to her mother-in-law, then to her career &finally to my age. Sh said I looked like an 18, then I said; thanks, not certain whether it's a compliment or not.
Then we lingered on th matter of teenagehood; relating to finding jobs, &evth in btw.
I was defending my type, ofcourse (but because I was out for a job too).
But that was only in th beginning, until I found out I was criticizing my own kind, forgetting I was actually one of them.
Sh was laughing when I was impersonating my mother, but I got back to my tone when I realised I'm still talking to a stranger.
When we separated, me to dhoby gaut &sh to kallang, I was wondering whether was it in me to be gullible &naive to expose myself out there, wearing my heart on my sleeve &knowing my vulnerability was out on th loose?
Wait, had it been always that way?
Have I all these while been risking myself?
~
Then there's this chinese lady asking me how to get to dhoby gaut, then to sengkang; so I merrily guided her along w me, cause its not as if its a heavy duty or anth.
Then we did something that's called chatting (again).
I'm in th mood to do so, as I got th hang of th momentum, but if they accidentally catch me in th wrong vibe, then I'm prolly worse than some serial killers, okay no lah, but you get it.
&That was when I realized what I wanted to do all these while!
I want a job that allows me to talk; meet new ppl &just, talk.
So, I dismissed on th idea of dreaming being like Meridith, &meeting Shepherd while saving lives.
Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Anw, here's Paramore's Decode, Twilight soundtrack.
&Can't wait for Twilight!!