Malay was manageable. I couldn't say much cause who knows my markah will bercanggah with my opinion. Just as soon as I woke up at 5.30, I got a serious stomach ache, which is an obvious symptom that I was worrying my organs out. Like, during footdrill comp, when we reached th competition place while waiting in th hall, I got this sudden wonders from my tummy. But th ache brought us Champion, so I don't really mind. Not that I'm saying I could get 1 for this paper. But I hope so. Not because of my lucky tummy ache, but because of my own hardwork, that is if there's such thing from me that's called hardwork lah. Okay shit, now I have to go do prop, and design Sem's swirly wirly thing for her new, new room and think of some things to occupy Ummu's new room's wall (I wonder how much space will sh save for me). Oh and Mrs Chong! Oh F***ing hell!



I've decided that I like writing to you precisely because you don't respond. Well, I'm not pretty sure you pass this pathetic web. No, I even wonder whether you're still alive. You're like a dog that way, only that I don't like them because I can't touch them, so I dunno them, so I have no entitlement to any opinions. You're a silent listener. A man's bestfriend.
You're my moving, dark comedy that always makes me laugh at random, inside, out. You bring me to life, varying my roles and personalities, making me skeptical and vulnerable, making me hungry and desperate to find my other half. With you, I see th notion of happiness and love. With you too, I get delirious and angry and cynical and stubborn. I am independent to my fault, this time.
You remember how you'd persuade me to go out with you then proceed to have a serious stall tactic for us to meet when i declined th offer because i was too shy? You didn't know after you left, I have an emotional knockover because you thought I was playing games. You too didn't know I was struck, because you was my first and I was damn young. I didn't know that it will take a hell lot of time, to get over you when, initially I thought, would be by th click of my fingers. It all couldn't happen because you are not patient enough, because you don't know th ways to handle me, because you have a fucking ego. &All I want to do was proving your man instincts wrong, because I wasn't near naive and gullible, because I didn't trust you.
Can't you understand that my life have already been flushed down th toilet bowl? What else do you want to know? I knew you've been waiting patiently/scathingly for this moment when I could admit that finally, this life now suck, without you in th picture. I've always been manipulative, because I want to be strong, because I want to believe that my future could clear, that there's better plans for me ahead, that I would never need you anymore, that you suck too much.
You're another mystery. I guess I underestimated you but I guess you should capitulate because you overestimated yourself. Yeah, so long.

Labels: Time can't erase a feeling this strong.